Published newborn, Children & family photographer
A sad Goodbye.
If you know anything about me, you know I love my dog. She’s my best friend! Sorry to all my human best friends, but this girl was loyal to the core. She was there for all the highs and lows, especially the ones I didn’t share with anyone else because that’s just the type of person I am.
On September 6, 2022, I took Indy to the vet to get her allergy shot. It was a non-schelaunt event. When we checked in they told us that she was due for year yearly exam and we were lucky enough that they were able to get us in. So we sat down and waited. While waiting, I noticed that she had two marble-sized swollen lymph nodes on her face (one on each side). I hadn’t noticed them until that moment. I even went back and checked photos of her on my phone from two days prior and they weren’t there. So when we did the exam that was the first thing I brought up to the dr. He felt all of her lymph nodes, which were swollen. He knew immediately what the prognosis was. We did a needle prick sample and were informed that she has lymphoma, and it appears to be very aggressive and has already spread throughout her entire body. To say I was devastated is an understatement. We were given an estimated 30-50 days left with her. I held it together until we loaded up into the car and I immediately lost it. I was just told my best friend was dying right before my eyes and there was nothing that I would be able to do to stop it. Sure we could try to slow it down, but it was an incurable disease.
My poor husband gets an out-of-the-blue text from me telling him our dog has cancer and doesn’t have long left. I’m not even sure I told him I was taking her to the vet that day for her shot. I was a mess. I had 28 (total) days to process this information, to try to accept it, to hold her every moment possible, and enjoy her for a little bit longer. Each day felt harder and harder.
She was still happy, enjoying all the snuggles, and still playing with River. We decided we were going to give her whatever she wanted (as if we didn’t already). All the steak dinners and pup cups her tummy can handle. We knew it was going to be a sad goodbye, but we were going to make the best out of these last days and soak up every moment we could. I thought having the time would make losing her a little easier, let me tell you, it doesn’t.
We were able to take her on one last camping trip since that’s what she loved to do. Every day was hard for me. Sitting there knowing she had something wrong with her and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing I could do to help her. I’m a fixer, so this was so hard for me to accept.
She had a great 4 weeks. Most of the time you’d never know anything was wrong with her. She did her absolute best to hid it from us. She slowly started distancing herself from River, then us. But she clung to the kids. The last few days she stopped sleeping in bed with us and chose to be with the kids. it’s crazy how they know who they need to protect.
This past Tuesday I was forced to say a sad goodbye to my best friend. I have learned that there’s nothing to prepare you for this moment. No matter how much time you have, or if it’s sudden, I’m here to tell you it all sucks!
Indy came into our world when we as a family needed her most (especially me). My snuggle buddy, work partner, and sidekick. Wherever I was she wanted to be. She was quirky, spunky, a bit crazy, and full of love. She always knew when I needed her most. She spent her life loving and protecting me. She was a fighter and hid all her pain so I wouldn’t see. I’ve cried nearly every day for the last 4 weeks, wishing there was a way to cure her incurable disease. It spread so fast and quickly took everything from her. Seeing her go from running and playing to struggling to breathe, eat, and even stand. It’s been heartbreaking. There’s never enough time with them. My heart is broken, and a chunk of it is missing, but knowing she lived her best life makes it all a little better.
A sad Goodbye. My bed will be a little emptier, the leg space under my computer desk a bit roomier, and my days a whole lot lonelier. I love you Indy girl. I’m going to miss the crap out of you. Give ‘em hell up there and chase all the shadows you can find!
Megan is a photographer based in the Greater Sacramento Area, serving Northern California for all your photography needs. She specializes in family, graduates, engagements, weddings, maternity, and newborn photography. Contact Megan today!
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